Back 2 Back
by Mr. Semaj
Summary: Luanne writes in her diary of a bizarre weekend she had with her aunt Peggy.
1. Chapter 1

**King of The Hill**

**A Peggy & Luanne Episode: "Back 2 Back"**

**Act I**

Part I : Hank Returns Home

_(At nighttime, Hank's truck pulls up in front of 123 Rainey Street)_

_(each departing member says "goodbye")_

**Bill**: "Good-bye, Hank!"

**Dale**: "Bye!"

**Joseph**: "Catch ya later, Bobby!"

**Boomhauer**: "Dang ol' see ya."

_(Hank's truck pulls into the garage)_

_(from inside the Hills' residence, Peggy puts a dinosaur model under display glass, displayed over the living room fireplace)_

**Peggy**: "Yep, Luanne. I believe I have really outdone myself with this one."

**Luanne**: "But we worked on this together."

**Peggy**: "Uh-huh.."

_(Hank and Bobby enter thru the back door; Peggy and Luanne go to meet them)_

**Peggy**: _(hugs Hank)_ "Oh Hank, I am so glad to see you!"_ (Hank half-heartedly pats Peggy on the back)_

**Luanne**: "So how was it?"

**Bobby**: _(excited) _"It was _GREAT!_ The water was thriving with fish! And Joseph and I saw foxes, owls, rabbits, raccoons, and even a _BEAR!"_

_(calm)_ "...And we slept under a blanket of warm, blue stars." _(excited again)_ "We thought it would _NEVER _end!"

**Hank**: _(chuckles)_ "Okay, Bobby. It's time for your shower." _(Bobby goes off to take a shower)_

_(sigh) _"It's great to see the boy so enthusiastic about nature."

**Peggy**: _(suggestively) _"So Hank...you ready to RE-explore nature?"

**Hank**: "But we just..." _(thinks then laughs naughtily) "_Oh, I get it."

_(Hank and Peggy go off to their bedroom; Luanne goes to her room)_

**Luanne**: "Good night, Unca Hank! Good night, Aunt Peggy!"

**Hank & Peggy**: "Good night, Luanne."

Part II: Luanne's Diary

_(Luanne closes her room door, goes to her dresser, and opens the top drawer.) _

_(She pulls out a small diary. She goes over to her writing desk, turns on the lamp, and grabs a pencil)_

**Luanne**: _(writing in her diary) _"Dear diary, I have just gone thru THE weirdest weekend ever! I spent 48 hours stuck with Aunt Peggy. You're probably wondering how one weekend that was supposed to be so perfect went so wrong. _(turns page)_ Well, I promised Aunt Peggy I wouldn't tell anyone, but here goes..."

_**(flashback begins)**_

Part III: Hank and Company Leaves

**Luanne**: _(diary)_ _"It all started on Friday morning, the first weekend of summer..."_

_(Hank finishes loading up the truck with camping supplies)_

**Hank**: "C'mon, fellers. Let's getta move on!"

_(Bill, Boomhauer, Bobby, Joseph, and Dale walk to the truck with their camping supplies)_

**Bobby**: "The first weekend of summer vacation; this is going to be the best camping trip ever!"

**Joseph**: "Yeah! I am SO psyched for this trip."

**Bobby**: "I'm gonna get into a staring contest with an owl, and a running contest with a rabbit!"

**Joseph**: "And I'm gonna wrestle a bear..once he comes acorss our camping site, he's going down!"

_(boys quivering eagerly)_

**Hank**: "Let's go, boys. There's nature afoot." _(everyone boards the truck)_

"Gentlemen, this weekend, we will do it all. Hunting, fishing, camp fires...everything. Yep, we will embrace Mother Nature like the natural-born woodsmen we are. _(starts engine)_

_(Peggy runs out the front door)_

**Peggy**: "WAIT HANK! Don't forget your fishing hat."

**Hank**: "Oh yeah. Thanks, Peg Leg."

"And make sure you stay outta trouble this weekend. The Pattersons may be our neighbors, but you should still KNOCK before coming thru their front door."

**Peggy**: "It's not my fault if they're the one's who aren't being neighborly. It's almost like they're afraid of me or something."

**Hank**: _(chuckles nervously) _"Yeah."

**Peggy**: "Don't worry. Everything is under control." _(Hank and Peggy kiss)_

"Goodbye, Hank. Fish the hell out of those trout!

_(Hanks nods acceptingly, pulls the truck out, and takes off. Hank and Peggy wave each other goodbye) _

Part IV: Connie Calls Luanne

_(phone rings, Luanne answers)_

**Luanne**: "Hello?"

**Connie**: "Hey, Luanne. How's it goin'?"

**Luanne**: "Fine. Bobby and Joseph just left with their dads on their camping trip."

**Connie**: "Sweet...Hey, if you're not too busy this weekend, maybe we can hang out sometime?"

**Luanne**: "I'D LOVE LOVE IT!"

**Connie**: "Great. Just let me know when's the best time for you."

**Luanne**: "Okay. I got work both today and tomorrow afternoon, but I got plenty of time in-between."

**Connie**: "Great! Keep me posted. I gotta go. Bye."

**Luanne**: "Buh-bye." _(both hang up)_

Part V: Peggy's Package Arrives

_(close to noon, a UPS truck pulls up in front of the Hills' residence)_

_(doorbell rings)_

**Peggy**: "I got it!" _(walks to the door and opens it)_

**Delivery man**: "Pacakge for Peggy Hill."

_(Peggy signs the form then takes the package. Delivery man leaves)_

_(Peggy walks into the living room with her package)_

**Peggy**: (to herself) "I cannot believe it is finally here!"

_(Luanne emerges from her room)_

**Luanne**: "Hey Aunt Peggy! What's up?"

**Peggy**: "My entrance into teaching Biology is what's up, doc." _(walks over to couch) _"The Tom Landry Middle School Biology teacher, Professor Hall, is retiring after 25 years of service, and Principal Moss has appointed _me_, Peggy Hill, to be the new Biology teacher for grades 5 thru 8!" _(Luanne walks over to couch) _"Starting next year, we will be learning about the prehistoric land masters; the dinosaurs! I have ordered a series of kits from Apex Discovery, and I intend on getting a head start on examining each and every dinosaur from their physical structure to their diets. And Luanne, what better way for a young woman like you to spend the summer than help me, Peggy Hill, with her dinosaur models?"

**Luanne**: "Spending time at the beach?" _(Peggy gives her a stern look) _

_(nervously) _"I mean gosh, I'd _love _to help, Aunt Peggy!"

Part VI: Gluing Accident

_(Luanne takes a seat on the couch next to Peggy; Peggy opens the package)_

**Peggy**: "Okay, my model today is the stegosaurus. We just have to follow this simple set of instructions, and we will be on Easy Street."

_(begins reading instructions) _"First, be sure to have all of the pieces needed." _(dumps bone pieces on the coffee table) _

"Second, make sure you have plenty of modeling glue."_ (takes the tube of glue out the box and hands it to Luanne)_

_"_Now before we officially begin, I just need to grab a box of Kleenex, in case we make a mess of things. You proceed with Step 2."

_(Luanne stares at Peggy blankly)_

"Just make sure we have enough glue." _(Peggy turns around reaching over the arm rest)_

_(Luanne opens the tube, and looks inside. She tries to shake some out, but nothing comes out. She then shakes harder, and finally squeezes the tube. A whole mess of glue squirts out of the tube.)_

**Peggy**: _(turns around)_ "What was that?"

**Luanne**: _(hides tube) _"Nothing!"

_(Peggy turns back around. Luanne frets, because a long line of glue is covered over Peggy's back without Peggy's notice.)_

**Peggy**_: (turns back to the couch with Kleenex box) _"Okay, I got the tissue --"

**Luanne**_: (sudden reaction) _"I NEED SOME!" _(she accidentally knocks the box out of Peggy's hands. It knocks most of the pile of bones off the table)_

**Peggy**"Luanne, will you PLEASE be more careful next time! Now help me clean up this mess!"

_(Both Peggy and Luanne scramble to pick up all of the bones.)_

_(When they nearly had all of them collected, they were both kneeling on the floor facing the opposite from each other. They slid closer to each other, until they bumped into each other's backs. Luanne, having suddenly remember the gluing accident, felt something squishy on Peggy's back)_

**Luanne**: _(to herself)_ "Uh-oh..." _(Peggy stands up; Luanne leviatates on her back, dropping all of the bones she collected)_

**Peggy**: "Well, not much damage was done, but..." _(sudden silence)_

_(Peggy begins turning around in a near-panicked state)_ "Luanne? Luanne! Where are you!"

**Luanne**: _(truthfully)_ "Right here Aunt Peggy". _(Peggy turns her head around, only to see Luanne completely suspended to her back)_

**Peggy**: "Luanne, what you are doing is a serious violation of my personal space."

**Luanne**: "I had a little accident with the glue."

**Peggy**: "What happened!" _(reaches for glue tube)_

_(reads to herself)_** "Warning: This glue dries on contact, and is to be used for modeling purposes only. Any misuse of this product, accidental or intentional, may result in serious consequences."**_(drops tube)_

_(fearful)_ "Holy crap! We're stuck like this!"

_(theme to _The Twilight Zone _plays)_

_(Peggy screaming; Luanne starts screaming)_

_**(end of Act I)**_


	2. Chapter 2

**King of The Hill**

**A Peggy & Luanne Episode: "Back 2 Back"**

**Act II**

Part I: Peggy Calls for Help

_(Peggy pacing the room panickingly)_

**Peggy**: _(hypervenalating) _"Oh God! Oohh God! What are we going to do? What are we going to do?" _(stops)_

_(Peggy reaches for the glue tube again, sees manufacturing address)_

**Peggy**: "I know! We will call them, and they will get us out of this jam!"

**Luanne**: "Can't we just call Unca Hank?"

**Peggy**: "Hank must _NOT _know about this. Luanne, I made a promise to your uncle that I would not get into any trouble this weekend, and by God, I'm a wife who's true to her word!"

_(Peggy pulls out phone book, starts flipping pages)_

_(Peggy reaches modeling listings, fingers thru, and points to the reliable source)_

_(Peggy reaches for the telephone, and dials the number)_

**Lady**: _(on the phone) **"Apex Discovery Hotline."**_

**Peggy**: "Yes, this is Peggy Hill, and I am calling in concern for your modeling products."

**Lady**: **_"How may I help you?"_**

**Peggy**: "Listen, we had a little gluing accident just as we were beginning to put together one of you dinosaur models, and now we need help!"

**Lady**: "**_Hmmm...can you describe exactly what happened?"_**

**Luanne**: _(screaming)_ "I'M GLUED TO AUNT PEGGY'S BACK!"

**Lady**: _**"Mmm. Mm-hmm...well, that's too bad. I'm sorry ladies, but we have NO adhesive antidote in stock." **(looks at a whole shelf of antidote, complete with a sign saying 'Apex Discovery is not responsible for any accidents involving modeling products')_

_**"It should be available at your nearest hardware store, craft shop, or your local discount store." **_

_**Thank you for calling Discovery Plus Hotline. Remember, you get a 10 discount on all purchases if you're a member of the Apex Discovery Educational Models Club. You'll be charged $1.99 for the first minute of this call, and 99 cents for each additional minute. Have a nice day."**_

**Peggy**: "But -- " _(phone hangs up)_

**Luanne**: "Now what are we gonna do?"

_(One hour later, Peggy closes the phone book)_

**Peggy**: "Well, I've called up all of the craft shops, discount stores, and hardware outlets, even those in MacManurberry. Surprisingly, there is an incredibly low stockage of adhesive antidote this time of year in this part of Texas."

**Luanne**: "Even Mega-lo Mart?"

**Peggy**: "Low prices, but low reliability."

Part II: Peggy Runs Errands (I)

_(Another hour later, after cleaning up the living room, Peggy gets her purse and her car keys)_

**Luanne**: "But Aunt Peggy, we can't go outside looking like THIS! People will think we're freaks!"

**Peggy**: "Peggy Hill will go on with her life. Besides, you are the master of absense in this town. If you keep quiet, it will almost be like another episode where we completely ignore you for no apparent reason!" _(Luanne looks confused) _"Now come on! It's time to go! _Andale_!"

**Luanne**: _(remembers that she's not wearing socks or shoes)_ "But Aunt Peggy --" _(yelps)_

_(Peggy heads to the car thru the back door)_

_(Peggy drives the car thru Arlen, with Luanne squished uncomfortably behind her.)_

Part III: Science Museum

_(Peggy is marveling at a dinosaur exhibit)_

**Peggy**: "Would you look at that, Luanne?"

**Museum professor**: "Excuse me?"

**Peggy**: _(yells, quickly turns around) _

"Oh, hi." _(chuckles nervously)_

**Museum professor**: "That's a mighty impressive beast, isn't it?"

**Peggy**: "I agree. I believe this is the stegosaurus."

**Museum professor**: "Ah, so you're into dinosuars, too. What's your name?"

**Peggy**: "Peggy Hill. And if it were up to me, that would be called the Peg-osaurus."_ (chuckling)_

But seriously, I am actually a Biology teacher at Tom Landry Middle School. Besides, I joined the Apex Discovery Educational Models Club since my last visit here."

**Museum Professor**: "Uh-huh..."_(nods head in interest)_

**Peggy**: "In _MY_ opinion, dinosaurs were created by God ..."

_(As Peggy continues speaking, the professor notices something behind Peggy's back. He sees Luanne's head creeping over Peggy's shoulder)_

_(The professor raises an eyebrow; Luanne creeps back down halfway, revelaing an innocent look in her eyes.)_

**Peggy**: "...but I guess there was no stopping the rivaling mammals from the raging apostles." _(giggles)_

**Museum professor**: _(clears throat) _"Oh, look at the time." _(leads Peggy to the exit)_ "Sorry we can't continue this engaging conversation, but thanks again for attending the Hemlich County Science Museum."

**Peggy**: "Um, okay. So we will be discussing this later, then?"

**Museum professor**: "Yes...MUCH later." _(spins his finger around his ear when Peggy turns her back; Luanne looks dejected)_

Part IV: Jack's Barbershop (I)

_(Luanne is cutting a customer's hair, while Peggy looks into the mirror.)_

_(Peggy peeks at the back of the customer's head. She then turns around)_

**Luanne**: _(gasps)_ "Aunt Peggy! What are you doing!"

**Peggy**: "I was just observing your job, and I have decided that you are not cutting this man's hair as well as you should be."_ (grabs Luanne's shears)_

**Luanne**: "But --"

**Peggy**: "Uh-uh-uh! Trust me, Luanne, I know what I'm doing."

_(Luanne sighs resignedly as Peggy proceeds to cut the customer's hair)_

Part V: Peggy and Luanne Go to Bed

_(That night, Peggy and Luanne sleep on the couch. It was a full moon. Peggy removed her shoes near the couch, and placed her glasses on the coffee table. Luanne placed her hair bow on the coffee table.)_

_(Peggy faced outward on the couch, while Luanne faced inward. Peggy had her pillow and blanket all to herself, and the chilly air made Luanne cold.)_

_(Peggy snoring)_

**Luanne**: "Aunt Peggy? Aunt Peggy?"

_(Peggy continues snoring)_

**Luanne**: "Aunt Peggy, could you gimme some of your blanket? It's cold back here."

_(Peggy continues snoring)_

_(Luanne bundles her arms together, shivering; cringes at Peggy's loud snoring)_

_(as Peggy continues snoring, the crickets are chirping outside on that calm, summery night)_

Part VI: Peggy Runs Errands (II)

_(The next day, a Saturday, Peggy sets off to do more errands. She was feeling a little more downbeat than the previous day)_

**Peggy**: "Well, I'm off to the store. Hopefully, I can have someone else to talk to besides the wart on my back!"

**Luanne**: "Aunt Peggy, can I just grab my shoes first?" _(wiggles toes)_ "My toes are feeling a bit insecure."

**Peggy**: "Well, YOU should have thought of that BEFORE you got us stuck together. It's not fun when your own mistakes come back to haunt you, huh!"

_(Peggy walks towards the car)_

_(Peggy drives in her car with Luanne squished behind her again)_

**Peggy**: "Luanne, please stop wiggling around! I cannot drive while you are squirming like a worm!"

**Luanne**: _(muffled)_ "Buh Uhn Pergy, Uh Cund Breeve Buhk Herh!"

**Peggy**: "Yeah, yeah. We will stop for some ice cream on our way to your freaking job!"

_(Peggy continues driving)_

Part VII: Mega-Lo Mart

_(Minh and Nancy are talking to each other from a distance)_

Peggy: "Uh-oh, it's Nancy and Minh." _(whispers)_ "Just let me do all the talking. Maybe they will not notice you."

**Minh**: _(calling) _"Hey, Peggy Hillbilly! Over here!" _(Nancy turns around)_

_(Peggy walks over)_

**Nancy**: "Hey, Sug."

**Peggy**: _(calm)_ "Hello, Nancy, hello Minh. It's nice to see you girls."

**Nancy**: "Indeed." _(swipes hair) _"So what's up, Sug?"

**Peggy**: "Well, I've officially started my vacation this weekend. I got a whole summer ahead to prepare for entrance into the Biology profession next year."

**Minh**: "Ah, Biology! One of Connie's best subjects."

**Peggy**: "Yes, your daughter is one of our best students.

But enough about me, let's talk about you!"

**Nancy**:_ (looks into her pocket mirror)_ "Well, sug, things couldn't be better at Channel 84. Right now, we're preparing for the annual Taste of Arlen next weekend. I'm going to have a booth next to Sugarfoot's!" _(Nancy giggles excitedly; puts away mirror) _"This is Nancy Hicks Gribble. Back to you, Peg!"

**Peggy**: "Oh, well, um..._(chuckles nervously)_ How about you, Minh?"

**Minh**: "Oh, same as usual. My Kahn got a payraise at work the other day!

I also work more on my garden. There's a special type of Laotian flower that I'm cultivating for upcoming contest at Arlen Botanical Gardens."

**Peggy**: "Mm-hmm..."

**Minh**: "By the way, Peggy, are we still on for Boggle game at your house tomorrow?"

**Peggy**: _(nervously)_ "Uh, sure...you better watch out. Peggy Hill, Professional Boggle Champ, will give you no less than 113!" _(clutches fist half-heartedly)_ "Ho yeah!"

_(Minh and Nancy shifts their eyes toward each other smugly)_

**Peggy**_: (still nervous) _"Well girls, I must be going. _(walks past them, quickly turning around)_ I just need to see if they have my kind of deodorant; Discreet Unscented."

**Nancy**: "Later, Sug!"

**Minh**: "Chao!"

_(walks over to the other side of the shelf, and begins counting cosmestic kits instead of deodorant)_

_(a passer-by notices Luanne suspended on Peggy's back)_

_(Minh and Nancy look on)_

**Minh**: "Poor Peggy Hillbilly. She so distracted, she don't know she got blond girl stuck on her back."

**Nancy**: "Kinda makes you feel sorry for them, don't it, Sug?"

**Minh**: "Peggy such a pompous windbag. I feel more sorry for blond girl."

**Nancy**: "Same here, Sug."

_(both giggle to themselves)_

Part VIII: Jack's Barbershop (II)

_(Later that afternoon, Peggy and Luanne approach the front entrance of Jack's Barbershop)_

**Peggy**: "That was the best lunch I've had in a while."

**Luanne**: "But I wanted ketchup on my fries. And I wanted fruit salad, not fries!"

**Peggy**: "And I wanted relish on my hot dog, but you do not see ME complaining about it, huh?"

_(Connie happens along on her bicycle)_

**Connie**: "Hey, Luanne. What up?"

**Luanne**: "Well, not much..."

**Connie**: _(notices Luanne's problem)_ "Yikes! What happened to you?"

**Luanne**: _(twiddling her fingers) _"We had a little accident yesterday."

**Connie**: "Gee, that sucks."

"So, um...are we still on for this weekend?"

**Luanne**: "I don't know, Connie. I'm in kind of a pickle here."

**Peggy**: _(yelling)_ "Luanne! Talk time with your friend is over!"

**Connie**: "Well, I better be going. Have fun at work, and good luck..."

_(whispering)_ "You'll need it."

_(Connie rides off, as Peggy and Luanne enter the barbershop)_

_(Luanne is cutting a customer's hair)_

_(Peggy looks thru the mirror. She turns around; Luanne drobs comb)_

**Peggy**: "Once again, you fail to cut hair professionally. That's where _I_ come in." _(grabs Luanne's shears, and begins cutting hair)_

_(Luanne growls, then turns back. Peggy drops shears)_

**Luanne**: "Back off, Aunt Peggy! This is _MY _job!"

**Peggy**: _(gasps) _"How dare you! Nobody speaks to Peggy Hill in that manner and gets away with it!" _(turns back, continues cutting)_

**Luanne**: _(turns back)_ "I can cut hair! I'm NOT stupid!"

**Peggy**: _(turns back) _"_Escuche mi_, young lady, but I have been cutting hair longer than you have!"

**Luanne**: "You've only cut Bobby's hair all these years! I've cut millions of people's hair!" _(turns back)_

**Peggy**: _(turns back)_ "Well it's never too late to do something right." _(Luanne growls)_

_(Peggy and Luanne struggling)_

**Peggy**:_(struggling)_ "If you would just let me show you..."

**Luanne**: _(straining) _"I DON'T NEED YOUR HELP!"

_(big chunks of hair fall to the ground during the fight; the customer frets)_

_(Luanne turns back to the front and clings tightly to the chair. Peggy struggles, then gives up. Both of their hair were ruined during the scuffle)_

**Luanne**: Okay, sir. You're all done. _(hands him the mirror)_

_(Customer screams; his hair is completely botched)_

**Customer**: _(crying)_ "What have you done to my beautiful hair! IT'S RUINED!"

**Peggy**: "I told her she should have done it MY way."

**Customer**: _(points to Luanne)_ "YOU are going to pay for this! For that, NO TIP!"

_(customer walking out the barbershop wailing)_

_(Jack standing by the exit with arms crossed)_

**Jack**: _(walks over to Luanne) _"Luanne, we need to talk..."

"Listen, you're a great hairstylist, in fact, the best I've ever had...

Which is why I want YOU..." _(points at Luanne)_,

"...not THAT." _(points at Peggy in the mirror)_

**Peggy**: "What the hell are YOU staring at!"

**Jack**: "I gave you a shot yesterday, but until you get your...family matters under control, you're suspended." _(walks off)_

_(Luanne and Peggy glare at each other, then ignore each other)_

_**(end of Act II)**_


	3. Chapter 3

**King of The Hill**

** A Peggy & Luanne Episode: "Back 2 Back"**

**Act III**

Part I: Peggy Apologizes

_(Peggy and Luanne are lying on the couch ignoring each other. The cold air still gives Luanne the chills as Peggy hogs up the pillow and blanket.)_

_(Peggy is frowning to herself. Then, she starts thinking, and slowly, she began to feel regretful.)_

**Peggy**: "Luanne? Honey, are you wake?"

**Luanne**: _(shivering)_ "Yes."

**Peggy**: "Luanne, I have been thinking about this weekend. We both got ourselves in a situation that has affected us tremendously. Now, I am not the one to hold a grude, so I just wanted to say that...I forgive you. _(Luanne stops shivering)_

I know you did not mean to bond us together like this. I made a promise to your uncle that we would not get into any trouble this weekend, and we both broke that promise. But I am willing to make a fresh start first thing tomorrow."

**Luanne**: _(diary)_ _"It was then that I knew she was just saying sorry in her own way..."_

_(to Peggy, regretfully): _"I'm sorry, Aunt Peggy."

**Peggy**: "I am sure you are. Now let's get some shut eye, and start behaving like the civilized Platter women we are, huh?"

**Luanne**: "Yes, but first, could you gimme some of your blanket? My toes are freezing." _(scrunches toes)_

"Aunt Peggy?" _(Peggy snoring)_

_(Luanne sighs dejectedly)_

Part II: Peggy and Luanne Wake Up

_(The next morning, a Sunday, Peggy puts her shoes and glasses on. Luanne ties her hair bow together.)_

**Peggy**: "Well, it is the last leg of the weekend, and we are still pasted like the wasted.

_(silence)_

I'm making waffles. Do you want some?"

**Luanne**: "Yes, please."

Part III: Connie's Glue Solution

_(Later that day, Connie comes over to the Hills' residence)_

_(doorbell rings; Peggy answers)_

**Connie**: "Hi, Mrs. Hill. Hey, Luanne."

**Peggy & Luanne**: _(wearily)_ "Hi, Connie."

**Connie**: "I think I found the solution to your problem." _(shows a can of adhesive dissolvent)_

**Peggy**: _(surprised)_ "My God! We have been looking everywhere for that! Where did you get it!"

**Connie**: "I had some left over from last year's science project on the solar system, which I won. I was borrowing some bouncy balls to represent the sun and planets."

_(the group heads over to the living room)_

**Connie**:_ (reading instructions)_ "Okay, make sure the adhesive is stored at room temperature."

_(asks Peggy) _"Is it, Mrs. Hill?"

**Peggy**: _(eagerly) _"Yes, go on."

**Connie**: _(instructions) _"Spray directly onto adhesive. Make sure that the model stays perfectly still".

_(asks)_ "You guys ready?"

**Peggy**: "Yes! Let 'er rip!"

_(Connie sprays dissolvent directly over Peggy and Luanne's backs. Nothing happens.)_

**Luanne**: "Now what?"

**Connie**: _(instructions)_ "The glue will completely dissolve within two hours."

_(asks)_ "You guys wanna watch some TV?"

**Peggy & Luanne**: "Okay, sure."

_(Nearly two hours later, Connie is sitting on the couch, Peggy and Luanne are standing next to the couch, all watching _Monsenior Martinez

_(Connie looks at the living room clock)_

**Connie**: "Well, it should be at least two hours, Mrs. Hill."

**Peggy**: "Well, since the time is almost near, I'll go fix us some lunch." _(walks off to kitchen; Connie continues watching TV)_

_(Peggy pours some water into a glass; has sandwiches and drinks all prepared on a food tray)_

_(Peggy walks back to the living room. The glue officially begins to wear off.)_

**Peggy**: "Okay, I got the sandwiches..."

_(Glue breaks; Luanne screams while she falls off of Peggy's back and thuds onto the ground)_

**Connie**: _(gasps) _"Hey, it worked! You guys are finally free!"

**Luanne**: _(ached)_ "Thank God..."

**Peggy**: "And just in time for me to get ready for my Boggle game with the girls. YES!" _(jumps happily, bone cracks)_

"Ow!" _(limps away with ached back)_

_(Luanne, having been suspend for 48 hours, has trouble getting up. She gets up , and spreads her arms and legs slowly)_

**Connie**: "So Luanne, now that you're free, you wanna hang out?"

**Luanne**: _(fatigued) _"Sure thing, Connie. I just need to finish doing some stretches." _(walks towards her room, then stumbles on the rug, falling near Connie's feet)_

**Connie**: "We can just stay here, if that's better for you."

**Luanne**: "No problem." _(sheepish grin)_

Part IV: Boggle Game (I)

_(doorbell rings, Peggy answers)_

**Minh**:"Hey, Peggy Hillbilly!"

**Peggy**: "Stop calling me that!"

**Nancy**: "We're ready for your Boggle game, Sug..."

**Minh**: "...And we be more than honored if your rear viewer could join us." _(both women giggle sinisterly)_

"C'mon Peggy, show us your new appendage."

**Peggy**: "Well, ladies..." _(turns around)_ "...take a good look!"

_(Minh and Nancy stop giggling)_

**Peggy**: "Uh-huh, that's right. You will find that my new appendage was removed a tad earlier than expected."

_(Minh and Nancy shifts their eyes toward each other smugly)_

**Peggy**: _(with enthusiasm) _"So who's up for a game of Boggle!"

_(the group assembles at the kitchen table)_

**Peggy**: "Okay, girls. Get ready to play Boggle...Peggy Hill style."_ (Minh and Nancy roll their eyes in disgust)_

_(Peggy rattles letter box) _

**Peggy**: _(slams box on the table)_ "Ho yeah!"

_(women write down their words under the timing of the hourglass)_

**Peggy**: "Okay, girls. Add 'em up!"

**Minh**: "Seventeen words."

**Nancy**: "Twelve, Sugs."

**Peggy**: _(resignedly)_ "Oh dear...I only have --" _(triumphantly)_ "Twenty-four words!"

_(chuckles arrogantly, Minh and Nancy gasp)_ "I told you ninnies to put on your best game!"

_(rolling 'R') _"ROUND TWO!"

_(Peggy rattles letter box with a smirk; Minh and Nancy groan)_

Part V: Hair Talk

_(Luanne and Connie spend time together in Luanne's room)_

_(Luanne combing Connie's hair; Connie reading a magazine)_

**Connie**: "So, if you don't mind my asking, what was it like attatched to your aunt these past two days?"

**Luanne**: "It was awful. We did all these boring things, I ate a lot of food I didn't like, I kept getting suqeezed into cold, tight spaces, and everybody around town was staring at me like I was some kind of freak."

_(finishes combing Connie's hair)_ "And, and..."

**Connie**: "And what?"

**Luanne**: "And...Aunt Peggy got me suspended from my job!" _(releases Connie's hair)_

**Connie**: "Gee, Luanne. That's terrible."

_(Luanne sprays Connie's hair)_

_(Connie looks in the mirror at herself)_

**Connie**: "Wow, that looks perfect. Thanks a lot!"

**Luanne**: _(quavering)_ "You're welcome." _(starts crying)_

**Connie**: _(puts hand on her shoulder) _"Aw, don't cry, Luanne. It's not your fault. You're the best hairstylist in Arlen. It'll all go away before you know it."

**Luanne**: _(supressing cry)_ "You mean it?"

**Connie**: "Absolutely."

**Luanne**: _(sniffling) _"Thanks."

**Connie**: _(wipes tear from her eye) _"Don't mention it."

_(fixes Luanne's hair bow)_ "That's what friends are for."

_(both cuddle; Luanne sighs contently)_

Part VI: Boggle Game (II)

_(Peggy rattling letter box, then slams it on the table)_

_(women write down their words under the timing of the hourglass)_

**Peggy**: "Okay, count 'em up!"

**Minh**: _(bored)_ "Thirteen."

**Nancy**: _(yawns)_ "Eight, Sugs."

**Peggy**: "Well what do you know?" _(shouts)_ "I GOT FOURTY-NINE WORDS!"

_(Peggy laughing hysterically, as Minh and Nancy stare at each other with fatigue)_

**Nancy**: "Sug, maybe we better call it a day."

**Minh**: "Yeah, at this rate, you find every word in the dictionary. You already pick up few Laotian terms these past thirty rounds."

**Peggy**: _(wags finger)_ "Uh-uh-uh. You girls cannot back out on me now."

_(starts rattling letter box)_ "We have not even gotten to the lightning round yet."

**Nancy**: _(slams hands on table)_ "Sug, just DROP IT! You win! WE QUIT!"

**Minh**: "I go home before you boggle our brains silly!" _(Minh accompanies Nancy to the door)_

_(under her breath)_ "Stupid redneck."

**Peggy**: "Fine! I do not need you losers! I can have plenty of fun playing Boggle by myself!" _(women slams door shut)_

_(Peggy sits at table for a few seconds tapping pencil, humming to herself. Clock ticking)_

_(to herself) _"Well, THIS is fun!" _(pauses)_

_(gets up out of chair) _"I'm just going to finish my dinosaur models now."

_(walks off to the living room)_

Part VII: Video Game

_(Connie and Luanne playing the _Columns _video game in Bobby's room)_

_(Connie plays more diligently, Luanne gets confused)_

_(Connie's final columns disappear, as Luanne's pile up; the game ends)_

_(Connie types her initals into the _high score_ rankings)_

**Luanne**: "Gosh, Connie. I thought you hated video games."

**Connie**: "Nah. _Columns _is an old-time favorite. I happen to like games that exercise the mind. Besides, just between the two of us, I could whoop Bobby's ass at this game any day in a week."

_(Connie and Luanne share a giggle)_

**Minh**: _(calling from her house)_ "Connie! Time to come home!"

**Connie**: "Well, Luanne. I had fun. I'll see you later."

_(both give each other a big hug)_

_**(flashback ends)**_

Part VIII: Luanne Goes to Bed

**Luanne**:_ (from diary) _After that, I finally helped Aunt Peggy finish her dinosaur model. She took all the credit as usual.

On the first weekend of summer, it was the weirdest weekend in my whole life. I should be returning to Mr. Jack later this week. 

As for Connie, she's a lifesaver...and a true friend.

_(closes diary)_

_(Luanne turns off light and goes to bed. She snuggles with her favorite teddy bear)_

Part IX: Hank and Peggy's Intimate Moment

_(Hank and Peggy in bed. Hank takes his sock off)_

**Hank**: "...And then after the bear had Dale cornered, Joseph crept up and tackled the hell out of it. That son-of-a-bitch was gone faster than a propane discount_." (chuckles, takes off glasses)_ "I never thought I'd see a bear fight in person, let-alone that thrilling."

"So, how was your weekend?"

**Peggy**: _(takes off glasses)_ "Well, Luanne and I had a GREAT time. In fact, if you did not know any better, which I am sure you do not, you could say we were 'joined at the hip'."

**Hank**: "What's that supposed to mean?"

**Peggy**: "Nothing, honey. You wouldn't understand; it's a girl thing."

**Hank**: "But you remembered to keep your promise didn't you?"

**Peggy**: _(wraps arms around Hank)_ "Hank, just shut up and kiss me."

_(Hank and Peggy kissing each other warmly)_

_(both sink under the covers)_

**Peggy**: "Ho yeah!"

_**(end of Act III)**_

**The End**

**Tagline**

**Minh:** "Hey, Peggy Hillbilly!"

**Peggy: **"Stop calling me that!"


End file.
